Siri knows where sadness resides in Cleveland

Et tu, Siri?

As a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan, I recall fondly the heady days of Bernie Kosar and a time when the Browns weren’t the laughing stock of the NFL. That’s what the Detroit Lions were for!

Of course, it’s been a long time since Bernie was slinging side-armed passes and leading the Browns to, if not a Super Bowl, then at least a handful of conference finals. Since then, we lost our franchise, got it back, and have gone through losing season after losing season and too many quarterbacks to count. We’ve made one — one! — playoff appearance in the past 20 years. And, predictably, we lost that game in excruciating fashion to the loathsome Pittsburgh Steelers.

With such a tortured history, I’ve grown accustomed to the abuse and jokes from other NFL fans. In fact, the Browns have been so bad for so long that Browns fans themselves have become the best at poking fun of our comically and perennially mismanaged franchise, from the saddest jersey ever to a fan standing outside the Browns’ stadium and calling it a Factory of Sadness.

factory-of-sadness.jpg

Screenshot by Matt Elliott/CNET

It is perhaps the Factory of Sadness video that inspired Apple’s digital assistant to get in on the Browns-bashing fun. Yes, even Siri knows the Browns are terrible. Thanks to location services, if you ask Siri, “Where is sadness?” while standing in Cleveland, she will point you to FirstEnergy Stadium, home of the Cleveland Browns.

As a New England-based fan of the Browns, I had to ask Siri, “Where is sadness in Cleveland?” to be directed to FirstEnergy Stadium along the shores of Lake Erie.

While this is certainly a sad comment on the state of my Browns, even sadder is the fact that Siri didn’t do the same trick when I asked her where sadness is in Buffalo or Detroit. Nope, it’s just us. All alone in last place.

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