The world’s most simple mobile phone

Although we love the iPhone 4, we do recognise its major flaw, which should be fatal for any mobile phone: it’s not very good at calling people.

If you love it nonetheless, maybe you should completely forget about using it as a phone and carry another device with you for that purpose. John’s Phone was built to make and receive calls. That’s all it does. There’s no Internet, no fancy apps — not even texting. It’s the world’s most basic mobile phone.

You can turn the sound up and down, as well as lock and unlock it. There’s also a speed-dial feature that allows you to save a number to every key. But that’s it. If you want to record someone’s number or contact details, the back of the phone proudly boasts a handy address book and a pen.

It’s available unlocked and priced at £60 to £68, depending on which colour you want. It has a single ringtone and vibrates, with three volume settings — loud, normal and silent.

One thing you may consider is the battery. Because there are so few features, it has a standby time of more than three weeks. It charges in the normal way, plugging into a laptop or PC via a micro-USB, or through a wall socket.

The question you might be asking is: why? Well, John’s Phone looks rather retro-cute and was obviously designed in a tongue-in-cheek way, a reaction against today’s feature-filled mobiles that have become less like a phone and more like a computer.

We can see this being bought out of curiosity, for a certain friend named John, or as a present for an elderly person or child. If you do decide to give the gift of John’s Phone this Christmas, be warned — the recipient might think you’re taking the mickey, or be disappointed you didn’t get them a proper phone that can play Angry Birds.

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