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The Dark Knight Rises prologue set many tongues wagging about what the caped crusader would be getting up to against the masked Bane and his gang of goons. To tie in with the movie, Nokia made 40 special-edition Batman Lumia 800 phones. We got one, and we wanted to see just what special bat-skills it has.
Batman is known for having a technology store almost as big as ours, bulging with expensive custom kit ready to take down all enemies — ours is mostly full of phones, laptops and TVs, but the principle is the same. You’d therefore be totally right to expect an official Batman phone to pack in some awesome features.
So what can it do?
Shine the bat-signal
If you’re in trouble, you’re going to need Batman there quick. Shining the beacon is a surefire way of getting his attention, whether he’s battling the Joker, solving the Riddler’s riddles or simply riding an elephant. We’d need a real batphone to light up the sky with Batman’s insignia.
Can it do it?
No. However, cut out a Batman symbol in thick card, hold it in front of the phone and set the flash off, and it’s possible Batman might see it and come to your aid. If he happens to be passing.
Transform into a vehicle
The Batmobile ensures Batman arrives at trouble before things turn too nasty. Occasionally it gets blown up though, so any phone of Batman’s would ideally be able to transform into some high-powered form of transport. A motorbike perhaps, or at the very least, a go-kart.
Can it do it?
Not quite. What you can do though is install the new Addison Lee app that lets you book one of Add Lee’s luxury minicabs to get you there instead. It’s not quite the Batmobile, but seeing your car approach using a map on the Windows Phone live tiles is undeniably cool. We reckon Bruce Wayne would enjoy it anyway.
Become a batarang to take down a criminal
Criminals are nasty people who want nothing more than to steal your cash and insult your mother. It’s therefore imperative that you throw something hard at their heads. Batman knows this — it’s precisely why he developed the batarang. A true batphone would transform into a batarang with ease.
Can it do it?
Sort of. We couldn’t get it to transform, no matter how hard we tried, and there are no transformation apps on the Windows Phone app store. We quickly found out that if you throw the thing hard enough, however, it does the job of knocking out a criminal (read: valued colleague) with ease. Our human resources department went ballistic at the tests, but at least we’re properly armed.
Deflect bullets
While Batty himself may not use guns to attack the bad guys, they sure use them on him. Often, in fact. It’s therefore of the utmost importance that he be fully protected from firearms. A capable batphone will protect our hero against bullet attack.
Can it do it?
That depends on what you mean by bullets. Not having any guns handy (again, HR wasn’t too pleased about getting them in to test), we weren’t able to put it in front of real gunfire. We did have a full arsenal of Nerf weapons, however, which we reckon is pretty much identical to the real thing.
We fired numerous rounds at the phone and every time the bullets merely glanced off, leaving no discernible mark. Very impressive. Very Bruce Wayne.
Bat-clusion
Okay, so the Batman Lumia 800 isn’t any different to the standard Lumia 800. The laser-etched Batman symbol on the back gives the phone whole new levels of badassery, but it’s purely there for show. If you want to fight crime in a cape, we suggest taking more extensive protection measures than just carrying a phone.
If you don’t fancy fighting crime, but do want to elevate your cool levels with a batphone, you’ll have to beg and plead with one of the 40 people who have one. Not ours though, we love ours.
