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So I’m at the Sony stand at CES, next to the big tellies. An American guy strides up and demands to know what’s so great about them. Sony booth guy says, “They’re OLED televisions.” “What’s that mean?” “Well, sir, OLED stands for Organic LED.”
American guy then does no favours to himself or his nation by living up to the crass stereotype and proving that he is a total jackass with his next statement. “Okay, organic: I don’t care. Why should I care about this thing?”
It’s not mayonnaise, dumbass. What, you think these are free-range LEDs? They were soldered in a factory with at least two meters of space between each panel? The LEDs could frolic and grow to lightbulb size before they were cruelly tethered to the circuit board?
I was only on the show floor one day, with a correspondingly tight schedule limiting my ability to wander round soaking up the dumb ideas. Still, I have read a fair bit in the mainstream media about the MP3-playing taser, which strikes me as a half-hearted piece of convergence. Just an MP3 player? Why not a digital camera too, so you can zap people and take a picture, and a phone so you can MMS the snap to your mates? Happy zapping — it’ll be the teen menace of 2008, mark my words.
What about the playlist for that particular MP3 player…
5. Electric Dreams — Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder
4. She’s Electric — Oasis
3. Electricity — Spiritualised
2. Electric Avenue — Eddy Grant
1. Danger! High Voltage! — Electric Six
And as for the stoopidest product name I encountered? By far and away had to be the Casio G’zOne… pronounced ‘jeez one’. Sounds like a Christian rapper.
Jeez, if that ain’t the dumbest thing I ever heard! Yee-haw!
