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For most people, the goal of consumer electronics is to keep the cost down as much as possible without compromising performance or quality. The problem with progress is that once everyone can afford a massive flat TV the footballers, hedge-fund managers and rappers have nothing left to prove they’re more worthwhile than the rest of us.
Enter the great fashion designers of the world, who encourage us to purchase fragrances that are mostly water mixed with some chemicals, and clothes made in the same third-world sweat shops as your local high-street brands, but at a massive premium. It wasn’t going to be long before they saw the money to be made from flogging standard electronics in a pimped case. This started when manufacturers worked out that gluing 300 pieces of crystal or adding cheap gold paint at least doubled the asking price.
In terms of hardware, we’re absolutely certain this TV will be exactly the same as one of Samsung’s existing TVs. We don’t think Giorgio himself has been working his fingers to the bone, hand-etching printed circuit boards. If we’re honest, that’s no bad thing at all, because Samsung TVs are great as they are. Of course, you’ll be paying a good wodge more for Giorgio’s telly, so what will you actually get for your money? Well, according to the Internets there will be a four-colour power switch, which will allow customisation of the Samsung/Armani logo on the front. Outstanding.
The TV will come with two remote controls, one simple and one more complex. We’re guessing most footballers will opt for the simpler pebble-shaped one. Hopefully they’ll be able to understand you need to press the buttons to change channels, and not end up grunting in anger and lobbing the ‘rock’ at the screen.
The Armani TV will be available this summer, in both 46- and 52-inch screen sizes. No word on price, as you’d imagine, but we’re going to guess it won’t be cheaper than the standard Samsung model.
So, if you’ve got an Escalade, a chunky gold identity bracelet, a platinum necklace and hos in different area codes, this may very well be the TV for you. If you care about money, why not buy one of Samsung’s other TVs — you know, one of the models that doesn’t snort powdered LCD and tell you how brilliant they are? –Ian Morris
